“I don’t know what I want. It’s like pornography or the perfect turd, It’s hard to describe, but I’ll know it when I see it.”
— Trevor, GTA 5
  • Michael:

    T! Really? Where's your fucking gun?

  • Trevor:

    I lost it. Oh... C'mon, don't give me that look, It's a fucking long and sad story. It's no matter, at least I have you, cowboy.

  • Michael:

    Dumbass! I can't protect you for-fucking-ever. How could you lose your gun? Jesus balls, it's a goddamn zombie apocalypse, you can't fool around with no weapon, if I were you, I

  • Trevor:

    Can you just SHUT THE FUCK UP for a minute? God... you are so damn annoying, I'd rather blow my head off, Jesus.

  • Michael:

    Huh, FINE. Now you think I am annoying, it's so fucking nice to treat a guy just saved your sorry ass.

  • Trevor:

    Stop whining like a little baby girl, sugartits. I wanna ask you something... where is your family?

  • Michael:

    ...... I don't wanna talk about it now.

  • Trevor:

    WAT? They are your goddamn family, and you said you don't want to talk about them?

  • Michael:

    No, no, it's not like that, it's not what you think, it's...

  • Trevor:

    What?

  • Michael:

    It's... okay, look, I...hum... I...... OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY THAT?

  • Trevor:

    C'MON, what's your problem? It's just a fucking simple question.

  • Michael:

    They tried to EAT ME ALIVE! HAPPY?

  • Trevor:

    Whoa...uh, no, I'm sorry to hear that, M. So... I guess we are the only two still breathe in North Los Santos.

  • Michael:

    Oh NO! Noooooooo! How can you be so calm? FUCK! Fuck! Fucking FUCK! I LOST EVERYTHING! MY CAREER, FAMILY, MY MANSION, MY MONEY......everything is fucked up, AGAIN!

  • Trevor:

    Interesting, it's the guy just saved my ass, you pathetic turd. Wait, did that mean you killed them all?

  • Michael:

    ...... Sort of.

  • Trevor:

    What does that fucking mean?

  • Michael:

    Make them stop doing whatever they want to do technologically.

  • Trevor:

    YOU really are an ice cold killer, the true monster.

  • Michael:

    I have no choice! they're already dead.

  • Trevor:

    Yeah, you killed them, I totally got it, Mikey.

  • Michael:

    T, they were DEAD, you have no idea how terrifying the situation was.

  • Trevor:

    Fuck you! Michael. F.u.c.k you.

  • Michael:

    FINE, WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO HUH? YOU WANT ME TO TAKE THEIR HANDS, WIPE THEIR ASS AND FEED THEM? YOU FUCKING PSYCHO. Sometimes to stay alive you got to kill your damn mind!

  • Trevor:

    YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I just want you to show mercy to your goddamn family.

  • Michael:

    HOW? You tell me how! I nearly lost my mind, things happened too fast, I... I don't know. God! Give me a break! If I turn to a stinky zombie, you can just shot to my fucking brain okay.

  • Trevor:

    I WON'T. I will feed you, fatty.

  • Michael:

    ...... You're really fucking weird, T.

  • Trevor:

    Not like you, Mr. Monster.

  • Michael:

    Don't be a dick! I have the same question, where are your weird friends?

  • Trevor:

    I ate them.

  • Michael:

    WAT?(shock)

  • Trevor:

    Just kidding. This morning I woke up, still dizzy... maybe it's the beer or drug, I dunno, too high yesterday, anyway, Ron stood by my bedside, I felt something falling on my face. At first I thought he wanted to molest me or do something weird... OH MAN STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK AGAIN OKAY? You know I am popular, Mikey. And I realized something, his teeth rot out of his face, BOOM! So I rushed out of the bedroom, through the outside door, bunch of The Lost Motherfuckers attacked me, of course I fought against them, but you know, It's not easy and I've had a really bad headache for the past 6 hours, whatever, I made it and called you immediately, good to know you just escaped from your damn house, Right on time sugar.

  • Michael:

    You lucky bastard. At least I don't have to face this shitty world by myself. Whatever, did you call Franklin yet?

  • Trevor:

    Course I am, but no one answered.

  • Michael:

    Shit! Shit SHIT! Fuck fucking fucked fucker! THE OTHER ZOMBIES!

  • Trevor:

    Shoot'em! KILL THEM ALL!

  • Michael:

    RUN! JUST RUN, TOO MANY BASTARDS!

  • Trevor:

    Don't push me, you pussy!

  • Michael:

    C'mon Dickhead! I ain't got time for this shit.

  • Trevor:

    Ugh okay, fine! Protect me, YOU OWN ME.

  • Michael:

    JUST FUCKING RUN.